GEORGETOWN, MARCH 2022 – Hooray! At long last, it seems like COVID is finally coming to an end. We’ve all been vaccinated, and now indoor mask mandates are being lifted across the country — even in DC. All I can say is, what a relief! No more shall we ever have to worry about bringing […]

It’s finally that time of year again! As the cherry blossoms on the Tidal Basin enter their annual screaming stage (see previous Heckler post), it’s time we recognize what this celebration is truly all about: the 110-year friendship between the United States and Japan, which has been mutually beneficial for all and has had absolutely […]

Something important snapped in the mind of Logan Jeffords (COL ‘22) today when his walk through Healy Lawn in between classes was rudely interrupted by the sight of three freshmen happily throwing a frisbee between themselves in the warm sunlight of spring.  Jeffords stopped in his tracks, his eyes lowering into a Kubrick stare. “They […]

Dear God, why did he pick me? I had one conversation with DeGioia when I was one of the student-athletes recognized at a Hoyas basketball game (Georgetown Sailing represent!), and now every time I’m in the same general vicinity as him he goes out of his way to shoot finger guns at me or give […]

Hey, The Caravel! We’d like to challenge you to a friendly game of chess-by-article-headline. The game is simple: we each take turns playing a turn of chess in our article headlines. To use one of your recent headlines as an example, it might read something like “Judge Who Arrested Ex-President Lula da Silva May Soon […]

OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT – As we relayed to you in our last email, the recent spike in cases of COVID-19, which has been particularly pronounced in the DC area, means that the availability of rooms in the Georgetown hotel is extremely limited, and many students may have to quarantine two to a room. Furthermore, […]

LEAVEY – Freshman Dan Saint-Pierre (COL ‘25) hadn’t dared to look up as he read his article aloud. He knew that this was his only chance to achieve his dream of becoming a student journalist at The Georgetown Voice, the paper he had read over his morning porridge every day as a child. And yet, […]

Hey, The Hoya. Listen, champ, why don’t you have a seat? I know you don’t really want to talk to me, but I talked with your mother and she thinks it’s important that we have a talk. Or, how about we get out the baseball gloves and have a catch? No? OK then, we can […]

From the Office of the President, John J. DeGioia Dear Members of the Georgetown University Community, As we return to in-person learning this Fall, many of you have doubtless noticed that quite a few things have changed here on the Hilltop since last we met. You may also be wondering, given the skyrocketing cost of […]

In what is expected to become an annual tradition from here on out, a joint announcement was made by the United Nations, Joe Biden, Vladimir Putin, Xi Jinping, Kim Jong Un, the EU, the legislative and executive branches of every national government, Elon Musk, al-Qaeda, Major League Baseball, Big Tech, Big Pharma, Big Geology, ISIS, […]