The Georgetown Heckler

News | October 21, 2014

United Nations to Air Drop Emergency Food Aid to those Waiting in Pasta Line


NEW YORK — The United Nations World Food Programme today announced its plans to air drop lifesaving assistance to refugees stranded in the Leo J. O’Donovan’s pasta line.


Following a unanimous security council resolution the organization pledged roughly 2,000 tons of food in emergency aid.

Leo's Dining Hall emphatically has denied an issue with the length of the pasta line.

Leo’s Dining Hall emphatically has denied an issue with the length of the pasta line.

“We are pulling out all the stops to keep providing desperately needed food in the Upper Leos,” said the Acting Director of the UN’s Mission to Leo J. O’Donovan Dining Hall, John Diamond, in a news release.


“Our food assistance has been a lifeline to dozens of students in the Leo’s, but continuing that lifesaving support will require some extraordinary measures given the size of the impending  1 P.M. lunch rush into an area with such limited infrastructure and table space,” he added.


Leo’s pasta line is often home to more than 300 diners throughout the day, many of whom fled other areas of the dining hall as “gross.”


Although the UN has not received an official invitation from the dining hall to enter the Leo’s, namely because of the institution’s shortage of GoCards, they are steadfast in delivering aid to the destitute in the pasta line.


Nevertheless, the oncoming surge in refugees, coupled with the preparation for Taco Trivia Tuesdays has made movement of food into the area more challenging, the agency said. It will air drop up to 2,000 metric tons of Clif Bars and Ramen into the pasta line, to allow vital food distributions.


The agency has also appealed to more well-off diners to donate and distribute their burrito bowls and vegetarian entrées in order to bolster the air drops.
At press time, about 14 mildly frustrated diners could be seen tapping their feet and looking at their watches, wondering why there is no goddamn self-serve pasta bar.