The Heckler’s sports experts breakdown and break up with each Big East team for the 2014-15 season.

Villanova Wildcats

 

Strengths: Ability to get their head in the game

 

Weaknesses: Boys with wavy brown hair and blue eyes

 

Key Stat to Watch: Their win/loss record

 

Georgetown Hoyas

 

Strengths: Wonderful internship opportunities in DC

 

Weaknesses: Core curriculum

 

Team Needs: More players with hyphenated last names.

 

St. John’s Red Storm

 

Strength: Perennial contender in the NIT

 

Weakness: NCAA tournament selection committee

 

Key questions: What is a Red Storm? Is that racist or something?

 

Providence Friars 

 

Strengths: Vows of chastity, poverty, and obedience

 

Weaknesses: Ability to keep any of those vows

 

Key Player to Watch: Drunk fan in section 331 seat 435

 

Xavier 

 

Key Goals: Plans for offense to cut greenhouse emissions by 30% by 2020.

 

Key Questions: Are we alone in the universe?

 

 

Creighton Bluejays

 

Strengths: Very good at basketball

 

Weaknesses: Zone defense and a perpetual feeling of emptiness

 

 

Seton Hall Pirates

 

Strength: High level of social and emotional intelligence

 

Weaknesses: Peanut Allergies

 

 

Marquette Golden Eagles

 

Key offseason change: Coach Steve Wojciechowski will now carpool to work

 

Key Challenges: Spray painting their eagle mascot gold and not having it die this time

 

Butler Bulldogs

 

Strengths: Ability to copy our mascot

 

Weakness: Compromising photos

 

Bold Prediction: This Butler team will be at the Final Four this March, watching Duke and Kentucky play on TV.

 

 

DePaul Blue Demons

 

Strength: Consistency

 

Weaknesses: Consistently bad

 

Goals: Too embarrassing to list.