Time magazine drew criticism recently when it invited readers to vote on words to ban in 2015. Past winners of this annual poll have included “YOLO” and “twerk”, but this year many took umbrage at Time’s decision to include “feminist” on the list.

With Time having lost all legitimacy, we at The Heckler feel it is our duty to assume the mantle of leadership and we ask you, dear readers, for your help. Which word should be banned in 2015? See our list below and then cast your vote in our poll.

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China – What better way for the US to take a jab at China than by banning its very name from the English language? We would have to give it a new one (“Ambassador to That Country with All Those Sweatshops” is too vague a title), but there is a lot of room for creative license. Why not Anusland? That ought to teach them to hack into our computer systems. Admittedly, it would make things rather awkward when serving visiting relatives tea in your fine anusland, but we still think it would be well worth it.
Choice – We have no particular objection to this word, we just want to see “H*yas for ******” tabling in Red Square.

Cowabunga – Are we the only ones tired of hearing this stupid exclamation? Ever since Michelangelo and the other ninja turtles arrived on the scene, this is all you hear coming out of teens’ mouths. They go rolling by on their skateboards all decked out in Doc Martens, parachute pants, and Wayfarers, blasting Duran Duran on their boomboxes, and shouting, “Cowabunga, dudes!” Really makes us fear for the future of this country.

The Heal – This word popped up in recent weeks as a nickname for the Healey Family Student Center. Stop trying; it’s not catching on. If Georgetown as a community is unable to devise a better name for the HFSC than this, then maybe we deserve to slide down a few pegs in the U.S. News & World Report rankings.

Listicle – The bastard offspring of tabloid journalism and 1990s material culture, marketed to a generation that a failing education system never taught to read deeply and thoughfuly. If you’re looking for a way to describe the content found on BuzzFeed, the proper term would be “drivel”.

Mumblety-Peg – Such a silly, silly name for such a badass game.

Obamacare – We figured we had to include this one on the list; so many people in this country support outlawing Obamacare. We are still unsure why they want to ban the word, but we decided we would pander to public furor anyway. At least, we think it’s the word they want banned. Who would want to get rid of a law that, whatever its deficiencies, provides affordable health cover for millions of Americans?

Sesquipedalian – We’re not sure how you pronounce it and we don’t know what it means, so why bother?

She – This pronoun entered the English language in 1645 after a grand council of the patriarchy decreed that women were unworthy of the male third person. Since that time, the word has served only to reinforce arbitrary gender norms. Why should “she” be any different that “he”? This suggests that women are somehow different from men. And why does “she” need the extra “s”? Is that meant to suggest that women can’t stand on their own without the support of an extra letter?

Vinery – A portmanteau of “Vineyard Vines” and “finery”. It may refer to any number of whale-emblazoned, pastel habiliments—because clearly nothing expresses refinement so much as the traditional costume of the lacrosse-playing peoples indigenous to Long Island’s North Shore.

Wabbit – Originally meaning exhausted, tired, or worn-out, this term is now the trademarked property of Mr. Elmer J. Fudd. Anyone who uses it in conversation is violating Mr. Fudd’s legal rights to the term and, moreover, showing great insensitivity to those suffering from speech impediments.