The Georgetown Heckler

News | December 28, 2014

New York Jets Mathematically Eliminated From Playoff Contention Next Season

By

NFL: New York Jets at Green Bay Packers

METLIFE STADIUM- With a record of 3-12 thus far, this season has been difficult for the New York Jets. Fans of the organization were dealt another blow Sunday when the team was mathematically eliminated from next year’s playoffs.

 

Experts at NFL headquarters reported early Sunday that due to poor play they will be out of the 2015 season playoff hunt. The NFL released a statement ackowledging that the Jets will be the first team to be unable to make the playoffs from the first snap of the season.

 

“Yeah I don’t know how it happened this early either,” Quarterback Michael Vick told The Heckler. “I guess we’ll just go out there next season and try to salvage some pride – like we always do.”

 
The team has multiple options at quarterbacks, including Geno Smith and Matt Simms, who will inevitably fight in next season’s training camp for the right to lead the organization into a listless future.

 
This development is new ground for the NFL, as it was previously impossible to affect the outcome of a future season, but the team has reached new milestones of terribleness.

 

Fans are not happy about the team’s failure. “The past three years have been nothing but embarrassment, “ Don Mancini said, “This may be less embarrassing than the butt fumble though.”

 
In a sign of good news Rex Ryan will reportedly not be the coach guiding the Jets out of the playoffs next year.