The Georgetown Heckler

News | January 22, 2015

Popular Student Misses First Two Weeks of Classes Hugging People She Hasn’t Seen Since Last Semester

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SOUTHWEST QUAD – After being physically separated from her friends during the winter break, Katy McGillis (COL ’16) has reportedly missed the first two weeks of classes due to hugging friends she had not seen since the previous semester.  “Oh my God! How are you? I missed you so much,” screamed McGillis as she saw yet another familiar face on her way to Psychology class, which experts say she may never attend.  “McGillis is a exceptional case. Early findings show that she may have up to 900 acquaintances whom she would seriously consider hugging,” said Professor Peter Lawrence of the Sociology Department.  “Based on these statistics and cross-referencing them with Georgetown foot traffic, she won’t able to attend some of her classes until March.”  At press time, McGillis had reportedly run into a professor whose class she has yet to attend and gave him a full description of her Winter Break activities, preventing her from going to another class she has yet to attend.