The Georgetown Heckler

News | May 20, 2015

Report: Islam Now Uncle’s Fastest-Growing Misunderstanding

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mosqueHAMILTON, OH – According to a report released Wednesday by researchers at the University of Florida, Islam is now Uncle Drew’s fastest-growing misunderstanding and is likely to overtake The Illegals by 2025. “Family members report a significant uptick in the frequency of forwarded emails about Islamberg, NY and America under Sharia Law,” said the report’s lead author, Savannah Arena, adding that Uncle Drew’s ignorance of the religion’s history, beliefs, and politics are likely to intensify with time. “Uncle Drew’s crude, erroneous understanding of Islam now plays a greater role in his life than ever before. When he’s not blogging about Muslim Brotherhood sleeper cells in Barack Hussein Obama’s cabinet, he’s calling his senator to complain about ISIS in America. The speed at which Islam is expanding in his mind is truly staggering.” At press time, Uncle Drew was reportedly preparing to protest the construction of a Buddhist temple near his home that he thinks is a mosque.