The Georgetown Heckler

News | January 15, 2016

Student with Overly Firm Handshake Could See Himself Running for Office Someday


Shaking hands  people

VILLAGE B — At his debate-watch after-party on Thursday, overly firm handshaker and future face on a GUSA poster Chip Carlington (SFS ‘17) reportedly admitted he could definitely see a future for himself in politics due to his ability to communicate both professionalism and affability with only the grip of his hand.  “What’s he doing? Why is he smiling at me like that? Is he running for something? Actually, I don’t care, he has my vote,” said Chip’s friend  Joel Garner (SFS ’17), before Chip thanked him for his great sacrifice in bringing the snack dip for the party.  Said Chip, after shutting down a beer pong game and turning the music off, “I want to thank everyone at this banger. I want to thank Joel for the dip, Anna for bringing the Natural Light, and, most of all, I’d like to thank the troops.”  At press time, Carlington was reportedly seen hitting on a girl with blue highlights that could definitely see herself becoming a musician someday.