The Georgetown Heckler

News | April 6, 2016

Serial Killer Hopes Latest Victim Hot Enough to Land Him on Evening News

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killer1

Citing his failure to drum up any coverage on even local stations with his last three kills, sources are reporting this Thursday that Serial Killer Daniel Morris Timms is really hoping his most recent victim will be hot enough to get the incident onto the evening news. “I really think this could be my big break,” said Timms, “She’s pretty hot, and white! Prime material for the a 6 o’clock lead in story,” he continued as he shoveled dirt onto a shallow grave. “To be honest though, I think the whole situation is disturbing. I mean when did our society get so messed up? It takes a certain type of person to be so cruel as to judge someone by their appearance.” At press time, Timms was seen setting his DVR for the evening news as he made himself a summer salad.