The Georgetown Heckler

News | September 15, 2016

Bernie Sanders Reshingles Roof With Spare Yard Signs



BURLINGTON, VT – Senator Bernie Sanders spent the week reshingling the roof of his Vermont home with leftover yard signs from his unsuccessful presidential campaign. “They weren’t doing any good in the garage,” explained the lawmaker while taking a seltzer break, “This way I avoid the huge prices maintained by the construction industry, and I’ll be ready for the New England winter.” Sanders remarked that he was beginning to enjoy doing handiwork around the house, saving money on materials and labor. “Tomorrow I’ll patch up the couch with a couple of ‘Bernie’ bumper stickers, then maybe convert a campaign T-shirt into a new steering wheel cover for the station wagon.” When asked if he could make an extra one for The Heckler, Sanders said he could do it for the average donation to his “political revolution”, which, he reminded us without asking, was $27.