The Georgetown Heckler

News | October 3, 2016

3 Things That Might Cause Cancer and 2 That Definitely Do


1) Sleeping near your cell phone


The jury is still out for how unsafe this really is, but who needs your phone that close to you while your sleep anyway? A nearby night stand is a safer bet.

2) Eating meat from fast food restaurants


The heavy use of preservatives cause some who err on the safer side to opt for organic choices, but there’s no definitive proof that hose preservatives are carcinogenic in the short or long term.

3) Going to the Large Hadron Collider in Geneva, Switzerland and standing in the middle of an 8 teraelectronvolt proton beam


Don’t do this.

4) Bathe in highly radioactive nuclear waste


Don’t do this either.

5) Using plastic water bottles


This one is also largely undecided. Some say when heated, the plastics can diffuse into the water, but again, no one knows for sure.