The Georgetown Heckler

News | October 4, 2016

Freshman Glad She Dumped Friends in Favor of Anonymous Juniors that Read Her Club Application



DARNALL HALL – Earlier this week, reports came in that freshman Grace Stevens (COL ’18) was seen hugging each individual of the 20 person mob from her new club knocking on her door. “In one word: surreal. Just all the people who I’m guaranteed to love because they all applied to the same thing I applied to!” Stevens said, immediately forgetting about the two people with whom she forged a burgeoning friendship during NSO.  Reporters pressed for further detail but were quickly shooed away and were berated for being jealous of Stevens’ unparalleled success. “Her application was immediately impressive,” noted an anonymous senior. “By name and writing style alone, everyone expected her to be very hot. When she walked into the interview, all suspicions were confirmed and we began to hit on her, as is club procedure.” At press time Stevens was said to still be in the midst of a blackout from the drinking she was enforced to endure the night last night.