ICC — SFS senior and board member of multiple clubs Sandra Flannery (SFS ’17) turned some confused heads this morning when, after donning a pair of blue joggers to class, declared to her peers that she was actually a “washed up girl”. “Call me a SWUG, but I didn’t feel like putting jeans on this morning. I just don’t give a shit anymore,” said the 21-year-old, who, after receiving an offer from Goldman Sachs last month, is actually the most optimistic about her future than she could ever hope to be in the coming decades. “I’m sorry, what? She called herself ‘washed up’?” asked classmate Abby Ludwick (SFS ’17). “That girl posted a picture on Instagram of herself hugging President Obama yesterday. I don’t know if that’s what defines ‘washed up’ around here, but my actually ‘washed up’ aunt just adopted her seventh cat.” At press time, Flannery was still putting maximum effort into maintaining her social and professional relationships despite fully believing her better years are behind her.