The Georgetown Heckler

News | November 17, 2016

BREAKING: Local Mom Just Needs to Finish Up a Few Things



NEW CANAAN, CT — After a long day of paperwork and a few loads of laundry, local mom Janet Milner declared she still “just needed to finish up a few things” before getting ready for dinner. “I figured I’ll be fun mom and let the kids order in dinner tonight while I schedule ballet practice,” Milner told a crowded room of journalists, all hoping that the thing she let them order would be pizza. Her son, who was seen pocketing the pizza money and reheating leftover Chinese food, expressed some serious doubt over his mother’s public statement. “I really just don’t buy it, there is no way she still has stuff to do. She’s been doing stuff all day.” At press time, Mrs. Milner was seen shooting out a few quick emails, saying “If I don’t finish this, no one will! Certainly not my husband, at least.”