The Georgetown Heckler

News | December 12, 2016

Student Has Final Tomorrow, According to All Social Media and Anyone Within Earshot on Lau 2



LAUINGER LIBRARY – An outpouring of support and condolences has been the heartwarming response from the family and friends of Georgetown freshman Ben Levinson, who by all reports and social media updates, has a final exam tomorrow that he is “totally screwed for.” “It’s cumulative,” lamented Levinson in a series of Tweets from the Lau 4 cubicle he’s “basically been living in” for approximately 2 hours. “Would you just look at all of these readings I have to look over! Material from any one of them could be on the exam! Finals week is the absolute worst.” Many have reached out to Levinson, expressing their concerns for his wellbeing and offering support to help him through this difficult time. “When he tagged me in a picture of a sleeping Koala on Facebook about how finals ‘had him like…’ I knew Ben was in trouble,” reported a peer of Levinson’s. “But after seeing the Instagram post depicting a tropical place he’d ‘rather be right now’ and the countless snapchats of coffee and loose worksheets on his desk, I was able to put it all together: Ben definitely has a final tomorrow. Frankly, I was shocked – I can’t even imagine what he’s going through right now.” At press time, sources indicate that Levinson can be found wandering around Lau 2, quickly running out of people to complain to before ultimately “just calling it a night.”