The Georgetown Heckler

News | January 30, 2017

I Rearranged the Letters of Georgetown to Spell Wee Grog Ton. Coincidence?


UNDISCLOSED LOCATION, GEORGETOWN – Ever since I arrived on campus three years ago I knew something was afoot. From mysterious underground tunnels to quiet ruminations about secret societies, I suspected this campus had a sinister underbelly and I was determined to find it. Yet several semesters of searching had revealed nothing. Interviews with top University officials, late nights pouring over documents in Riggs library, and several archaeological digs behind Reiss had left me discouraged and with more questions than I started with. That is until I rearranged the letters of Georgetown to spell Wee Grog Ton.

It happened last Thursday as I was sitting at my customary booth in Bulldog Tavern preparing for a fun night of revelry with Trent. And that’s when Trent said he had to pee. I guess you could say that after a “ton” of “grog” he had to “wee”. I immediately grabbed a napkin and spelled out Georgetown and saw that my greatest fears were confirmed. Yes, Wee Grog Ton was hidden within the name of our school.

It was almost as if the letters were floating off the page and dancing before my eyes. Suddenly everything made sense. The first thread in a previously impervious web of lies had finally come undone. I couldn’t believe that the answer was right of front of me the whole time.

Now I know what you’re thinking. How can you be so sure that it isn’t Wee Ton Grog? I assure you that the same thought has crossed my mind several times and at first, I couldn’t be sure. I assure you I spent many nights double checking my findings before going public.

I just wish I could see John Carroll’s face now that I’ve found out his little secret. But then again maybe he wanted someone to find it. Perhaps this was his way of communicating with the future. To reach out to those of us inquisitive enough to look.