The Georgetown Heckler

News | February 24, 2017

Hare Krishnas on Wisconsin Aim for 75% Conversion of Student Population by End of Fiscal Year


The group of Hare Krishnas which operate off of the corner of Wisconsin Ave and M street announce goal of 75% conversion of the area’s student population by the end of the fiscal year. Their chief marketing officer told the Heckler that the group “remains extremely confident in the market potential of the Georgetown community” and is “highly optimistic” about the willingness of Georgetown students in particular to accept their message.

Recently converted student Kelly Newman took time from proselytizing to explain her conversion, “I was already sort of a celibate vegetarian so the Krishna part wasn’t too hard to swallow”. The Hare Krishnas expect their historically modest record of soul saving to “really take off” in the fourth quarter, especially since lululemon is having a spring sale which will attract more foot traffic.