GEORGETOWN – Following a surprise victory in student elections this past Thursday, Khan-Fisk and Mack-Andino forces met in a gruesome battle in Sellinger Lounge as the challengers attempted to usurp the noble GUSA throne.
“TODAY SHALL BE THE FIRST DAY OF OUR GOD-ORDAINED RULE, LET THESE HALLS RUN RED WITH THE BLOOD OF THOSE WHO MAY TRY TO KEEP US FROM OUR GRANTED DOMINION,” said Mack, with a sword made from the entrepreneurs of old held loftily in the air.
The throne of GUSA presidency was challenged by the Mack-Andino candidates after a long, grueling campaign season, with each contingency losing hundreds of freshman to the fray.
Current ruler Enushe Khan replied to Mack-Andino forces, saying “WE WILL NOT BE DETHRONED BY THOSE WITH A FALSE CLAIM TO THE MAGNIFICENT RULE. GARET AND HABON ARE THE RIGHTFUL SUCCESSORS OF THE GLORIOUS GUSA COMMAND AND WE SHALL LAY DOWN OUR LIVES IN THIS KINGDOM’S DEFENSE.”
At press time Mack-Andino forces overtook the last of Khan-Fisk warriors and Mack burst into the GUSA Office to find Khan sitting atop the throne in a calm silence, awaiting him.