The Georgetown Heckler

News | March 8, 2017

Professor Not Quite Sure How This Slide Got Into Powerpoint


GEORGETOWN – After executing almost two-thirds of a complicated lecture on corrosive inorganic solutions, chemistry professor Dr. Elizabeth Cornwell expressed that she could not quite figure out just how this particular slide got into the powerpoint.

Dr. Cornwell did not miss a beat for nearly 45 minutes, touching on each diagram and every word of her immaculately prepared powerpoint. But when the twentieth slide flashed onto the screen, displaying various conditions that affect the ascending aorta, she let the entire class know that she too had no idea what on earth was going on.

“To be honest I’m just as confused as anyone else,” reported senior Charlie Taronga (COL’ 17), “I was at the edge of my seat right up until then. I mean, I’ve never seen someone teach anything so accurately and so engagingly. But when that slide about hearts came up, she lost me. I’m considering dropping the class.”

Polls suggest that after her fatal blunder, the entire lecture was “totally ruined, I hated it, why was there a heart”. Students apparently could not pay attention; allegedly two students immediately left the hall.

At press time, Dr. Cornwell was seen frantically combing through her other powerpoints, likely to ensure that no other stray arteries, femurs, or lymph nodes disrupted any other lectures.