The Georgetown Heckler

News | March 15, 2017

Americans Increasingly Finding Love Later In Life, Report Single and Hopeful Researchers


New York City, NY — Americans are increasingly finding love later in life, according to a new study published by a group of aging single researchers.

“Needless to say these findings are very exciting for us as researchers and as singles ourselves,” one researcher commented, adding that they would still like to conduct additional research to find if Americans were finding more fulfilling careers later in life and to see if Americans find researchers attractive.

“I was really worried I would never find love, but after seeing the results of this study I’m ready to get myself out there knowing that millions just like me are still looking for love at this point in life.”

At press time, several researchers asked reporters if they were interested in getting coffee sometime at a nice little place downtown.