The Georgetown Heckler

News | October 28, 2017

Nation’s Moms Just Checking In


UNITED STATES – After sending out emails this morning that had yet to be responded to by mid-afternoon, the nation’s moms announced via text that they were just checking in to see if everything was OK.

“Do you need anything?” wrote Sheryl Bates, one of the many millions of moms, from her living room, “I just wanted to see if there was anything I could send over that might help.”

The aforementioned “Just checking in” message was one of 17 that had been sent so far this month by the nation’s moms. However, the mothers’ inquiries extended far beyond these check-ins.

“Are you eating alright? Do you need me to send more food?” the millions of moms went on to interrogate, “How are your friends doing? Do they need me to send over anything? Did you remember that your sister’s birthday is coming up? Are you remembering to floss?”

When reached for comment, the nation’s moms all put out a joint statement requesting that you please take care of yourself and stay safe.