The Georgetown Heckler

News | January 30, 2018

Grizzled Lau Vets Commemorate Fallen Comrades from All-Nighter of ‘15


GEORGETOWN, DC — Early Thursday morning, veterans of the infamous all-nighter of 2015 gathered to pay their respects to the members of their Macroeconomics midterm study group that did not survive the gruesome night.

The ceremony began with a moment of silence and reflection before the survivors, their faces solemn yet stoic, began the ritual proceedings by taking an entire large, black coffee and pouring it onto the rug in the middle of Lau 2.

“The spilling of the java serves as both a ritual and a reminder of the sacrifice that each of those brave individuals made that day. We pray that it will nourish the souls of those we lost, as well as cleanse the earth upon which this horrible tragedy occurred” explained Sarah Montgomery (SFS ’19).

“We were absolutely blindsided” recalled Evan Wray (COL ’18). “We had hunkered down for the night at a table near the back, close enough to Midnight MUG to make quick caffeine runs but far enough away that the noise wasn’t an issue. Things were going well and spirits were high. Even the most studious among us were forecasting a 3:00am bedtime at the latest. That’s when it hit us.”

The midterm was slated to include an additional four chapters the group had not studied for.

“I’ll never forget what I was doing when Arjun broke the news” stated Wray. “I had just opened up a clip of the Office to take a study break. I was so upset I couldn’t even finish the video. We lost three people right then just to despair.”

Already past 2:00 and without hope of reinforcements, the team knew it would have to get creative if it wanted to stay alive.

“We were trying anything we could think of – shotgunning energy drinks, working out on the floor, even slapping each other in the face – but it was no use. We were making no progress and people just kept dropping like flies around us” reported Montgomery.

As their study group of twelve dwindled to just six, Wray decided to make a last ditch effort to save those that were left. “I knew that if we could just make until dawn, we might be able to mount a charge to Epicurean for supplies” remembered the philosophy major whose experience in three previous all-nighters made him a natural leader in the group.

“When those first rays of sunlight broke, we made our move to resupply. The goal was stick together, move quickly, and stay low to the ground” continued Wray. “It all went off perfectly until we hit Darnall – that was Ricky’s dorm. When we came around the corner from Henle and he caught sight of his window, that’s when Ricky… that’s when… well that’s when Darnall called him home” Wray went on, his tears turning into a nostalgic laugh. “Haha he swore he could see the outline of his bed through the blinds in the window. That was the fatigue talking of course, but who was I to dash a dying man’s last hope.”

While the traumatic events may be over, the veterans confirmed that the memory of them is still very much alive.

“You know, Red Bull has never tasted the same to me after that night” remarked Montgomery. “And someone told me that Curtis can’t even hear the words ‘GDP Deflator’ without getting flashbacks.”

At press time, sources confirmed that Montgomery was preparing for redeployment to Lauinger 2 after getting word of an incoming history paper.