The Georgetown Heckler

News | February 5, 2018

Union of Gallerias Demotes ICC Galleria; Now Atrium


SASKATCHEWAN – The Union of Galleria’s met for their third annual “State of the Galleria” conference at their headquarters in Canada’s third smallest province. Many gallerias were discussed, from the Pemaqua City Galleria and Mall to Yorktown’s Crystal Galleria (a foodcourt). The last item of discussion was
Georgetown University’s Intercultural Center Galleria.

“It is not a galleria!” declared veteran group member, and galleria-enthusiast, Edmond Belfast. “If we let what is clearly an atrium qualify as a galleria, who knows what level of abominable savagery we’ll devolve to next!” he said with furor, jowls bouncing on each syllable. “I will pen my resignation before I allow this abomination to remain on the official register of gallerias for even a day longer!”

Luckily for Mr. Belfast, his demands were met. The ICC Galleria lost its title at twelve o’clock midnight on January 2 8th, approximately two months after the meeting quoted above. The Union of Gallerias, infamous for it’s heavy-handed bureaucracy, often struggles with timely change. Responses from Georgetown’s administration were swift and curt. “Oh, huh. Maybe we’ll change the sign?” commented University general manager Kurt Vanbrangen. “I guess we should print up some new pamphlets too.”

At press time, the Confederacy of Atriums was still unreachable for comment.