The Georgetown Heckler

News | February 13, 2018

How To Give Your Crush, Todd Olson, The Perfect Valentine’s Day


Maybe you’ve already told him how you feel. Maybe you haven’t quite worked up the courage. With Valentine’s Day just hours away, the Heckler has all the information you need to give your crush, Todd Olson, the Valentine’s Day of his dreams.


The Flowers

Ok- call us old fashioned, but there really is just no substitute for a luscious bouquet of flowers to show Todd Olson that you really care. Now you didn’t hear this from us, but we contacted his full time on-call florist and so we can tell you with confidence that an elegant arrangement of deep red roses is the first step in breaking down the walls around this T-daddy’s heart.

The Food

In all the movies, Valentine’s Day dinners are opulent, candlelit, and oh-so-romantic. But we found a smiley face plastic bag in your crush’s trash can, so we know that the way to this Hoya Hottie’s heart is a Wisey’s cookie and a nice $9.00 bottle of Chardonnay. Trust us, the moment an Oreo cookie passes those devilishly supple lips, Todd Olsen will be helpless to your charms.

The Entertainment

Here comes the hard part: playing it cool while you’re with not just any guy, but THE guy. We feel you—you’d rather just count his boyish freckles and stare deeply into those wire frames all night forever. But to get you there, try making a specialized playlist to show off your sensitive side. Todd Olson listened to “Till I Collapse” four times in a row in Yates last week, so be sure to throw that in between the Marvin Gaye and Norah Jones for one of those tender moments of connection that Valentine’s Day is all about.

How to make your move

First step: close your eyes and breathe this moment in. Inhale the scent of his ivory soap. Moments like this, with a guy like this, don’t come too often. Todd Olson is a big fish, but you’ve caught him now, just like he caught you. When the time is right, trust your instincts and follow your aching, wasted heart to your happily ever after.

Love is in the air, Hoyas, so go out there and tell that special someone how you feel.