Dear Dahlgren Chapel Vandals, I would like to preface this letter by saying that I rarely feel moved to speak out on the twaddle I read in The Hoya. Between leading the unsuspecting off the path of righteousness, tormenting the souls of the damned, and shooting skeet with Wayne LaPierre, I am a terribly busy... »
The Heckler Announces its own Preregistration Software, “Trashy”
In order to compete with the Corp’s new “Classy” pre-registration tool, the Heckler is proud to announce its own “Trashy.” Like “Classy,” “Trashy” will also sync schedules with calendars, but student’s won’t actually be able to see it until they submit their schedules. Additionally, “Trashy”... »
GU Residence Life Announces that RA Actually Stands for “Really Awkward”
In a press conference last week, Director of Residence Life Katie Lynch put an end to the dispute of whether the RA position stands for “Resident Advisor” or “Resident Assistant;” instead, she sheepishly announced that it actually stands for “Really Awkward.” In an effort to... »
GUTS Bus to Nowhere Added
GEORGETOWN- In a move that has left students both excited and deeply confused Georgetown’s Office of Transportation Management has announced a new GUTS Bus to Nowhere. The new line will leave from Dahlgren Chapel on the 42nd minute of every other hour, taking passengers down... »
I’ll be Honest. Little Upset I Wasn’t Invited to any St. Patrick’s Ragers.
To all Georgetown Students, I hope you all had a fun and relaxing St. Patrick’s Day. It is a time of year where, whether we posses the proper ancestry or not, we all celebrate Irish heritage. While we at the university understand that the consuming... »
The Heckler’s Top 5 Vacation Destinations for 2013
#5 Pyongyang, North Korea Long overlooked as a vacation spot, Pyongyang may finally be taking its place in the sun. The North Korean capital has recently emerged as the go-to destination for such celebrities as former President Bill Clinton and NBA star Dennis Rodman. With... »
GPB Tries Beer, Disbands
Just a few weeks after St. Patrick’s Day, Georgetown Program Board President Andy Griffen (COL ’13) announced that the organization has officially disbanded after trying beer for the first time. The group was found completely wasted in Burleith Saturday afternoon with half a beer... »
GUSA Hires Professional Ego-Stroker
MSB junior Igo N. Flator was sworn in Monday to the new GUSA cabinet under President Nate Tisa and Vice President Adam Ramadan in a new role, that of professional ego-stroker. “Sometimes, when you’re feeling blue, you need somebody to remind you that you’re the... »
Graduating Seniors Unprepared for Sobriety
Georgetown’s regularly scheduled midterm-induced panic is in full swing, and nobody is feeling the burn more than the soon-graduating seniors, for whom this is the last go-round. While the average college student is faced with relatively easy questions come midterms season (e.g., what are... »
