Connecticut Males Suffer From Testicular Loss
Peeved WASPs Blame Darnall Cafeteria Frozen Yogurt
Recent batches of the Darnall Hall cafeteria’s frozen yogurt are thought to have caused recent cases of testicular loss in male Georgetown students who hail from Connecticut. Clearly, there could be no other explanation.
“That fro-yo was just no good,” said Thatcher B. Cuntingham XII of Connecticut (MSB ’04). “I just see no other explanation for my arrogant, effeminate behavior,” he said.
“We want some answers immediately, but more importantly, we want our manhood back,” Tucker X. Winthrop III (C ’03) argued. “I spilled that fro-yo all over my pink polo shirt and seersucker pants,” he added.
A Darnall Cafeteria spokesperson questioned whether the Connecticut natives “had any balls” prior to consuming the “fro-yo.”