Springtime on the Hilltop is approaching, and this time of year is forever associated with the triumph of GU’s athletic squads. Here’s what we can expect this spring from our sports teams…as only The Heckler could tell it. Men’s Basketball This spring March Madness is going to take on a whole new meaning: Everyone on... »
Archive for February, 2003
Hoya Sports Roundup: The Spring in Preview
Monday, February 10th, 2003
Student Activities Committee Will Not Recognize Pen Fifteen Club
Monday, February 10th, 2003
Georgetown’s Student Activities Commission (SAC) has officially rejected the PEN15 Club’s application seeking official recognition by the University. Because of this rejection, the PEN15 club will be denied a table at the SAC fair, funding from the school, and an office in the Leavey Center. “Georgetown’s SAC is just not ready for a PEN15 of... »
New Study: Philosophy Classes Best Cure For Insomnia
Monday, February 10th, 2003
Georgetown’s Philosophy department is a safe, all-natural sleep-inducer, according to a recent study by Health Education Services (HES). “Sleep loss has become an epidemic at Georgetown, dozens of students come to the HES office every week complaining that they can’t sleep at night…we used to recommend sleeping aids such as Excedrin PM or Nyquil, but... »
OP-ED: This Watch Makes My Face Look Fat
Monday, February 10th, 2003
Dear Uncle Pete, Thank you for your generous birthday gift – it was greatly appreciated. However, I feel obliged to inform you that I must return the watch that you gave me because it makes my face look fat. It’s a very nice watch – Tag Heuer®, as you must know, is a quality brand. But... »
Top Ten Movie Titles with a Word Replaced by ‘Vagina’
Monday, February 10th, 2003
1. Vaginas of Thunder 2. Star Trek VI – The Undiscovered Vagina 3. Fried Green Vaginas 4. Indiana Jones and the Vagina of Doom 5. Stop or My Vagina Will Shoot 6. Vaginas of New York 7. Vagina 8. Harry Vagina and the Sorcerer’s Stone 9. The Thin Red Vagina 10. How to Lose a Vagina in Ten Days 11. Three Men and a... »
Connecticut Males Suffer From Testicular Loss
Monday, February 10th, 2003
Recent batches of the Darnall Hall cafeteria’s frozen yogurt are thought to have caused recent cases of testicular loss in male Georgetown students who hail from Connecticut. Clearly, there could be no other explanation. “That fro-yo was just no good,” said Thatcher B. Cuntingham XII of Connecticut (MSB ’04). “I just see no other explanation... »
