Archive for September, 2003

Healy Hall Considered Most Impressive New Addition

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2003

The Georgetown Campus has a whole new look this fall, and the Hoyas are excited. Says Tom Davenport (COL ’06), “When you walk through the gates, it is the most incredible feeling.” He is talking about Healy Hall, folks – the Hilltop’s most impressive new gothic structure, overlooking what is now considered the... »

Bum Really Glad You Can’t Get a Wisemiller’s Sub for $6.00

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2003

Former Poet Laureate, The Bum outside Wiseys, celebrated his successful lobbying of Wisemiller’s Deli (Wiseys) to sell subs for a non whole number. With every customer leaving Wiseys with change in their pocket, the Bum expects to go up by pi percent. When asked how he came up with the number 3.14,... »

Calculus Professor Learns English

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2003

In a stunning first for the Georgetown Math Department, calculus professor Dong Choi has decided to learn to speak English for this fall semester. The Math Department, which has traditionally upheld a policy of mumbling in a sort of jumbled Chinese and English, it’s like Spanglish but with Chinese, seems to be establishing... »

GU Lecture Fund Announces Fall Line Up

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2003

The Georgetown Lecture fund recently posted its list of celebrities and Washington politicos that will speak this semester to students and faculty. The Lecture Fund has found the right balance of academia and entertainers, and this year their eclectic mix continues a long standing tradition of excellence. Past speakers have included President Bill Clinton,... »

Nickelodeon Sues Georgetown over Use of the Word “Guts”

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2003

In a somewhat expected move, Nickelodeon sued Georgetown University over use of the word “Guts.” The Nickelodeon show, which was hosted by current star of CBS hit comedy “Yes Dear” Mike O’Malley, coincidentally had the same name as the Georgetown University Transportation Shuttle. Nickelodeon executives refused to comment on the record, saying only “We... »

Georgetown Student Accused of Online Piracy

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2003

As government officials crack down on the recent wave of online piracy, Georgetown University’s own Rusty Blackbeard (SFS ’05) has been indicted on charges of plundering and pillaging the internet community. In response to the arrest, Blackbeard exclaimed, “YAARR” repeatedly. Suspicion of foul play was spurred by complaints from Rusty’s classmates. Says Matt Lewis,... »

MPD Only to Enforce Class C Misdemeanors and Lower

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2003

In response to a rash of recent violent crimes against Georgetown residents, Metropolitan Police Department released a statement earlier this week that patrolling officers will only be enforcing crimes classified as Class C Misdemeanors and lower from Wisconsin Avenue to all points west. The policy change has been hailed by local officials as “finally focusing... »

MTV to Release New Series: Babies’ Cribs

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2003

Heckler: So tell us about this new series. I hear it’s called Babies’ Cribs. Are we talking about hot women or younger stars? MTV: Um…what? Heckler: The series. The title implies your going to hit the homes of a younger generation of Hollywood superstar, right? MTV: Um, no. It’s about cribs. You know, like for babies. Heckler:... »