Today marks the beginning of what is sure to an outstanding period in Georgetown University’s academic history. After intense negotiations and bidding, Georgetown received word that it had beat out the University of Virginia and Stanford in attracting one of the world’s premiere actresses/professors of government. Her name is Dr. Jo Marie... »
In just over three months I will graduate from Georgetown University, only to begin a summer of waiting tables, writing screenplays, and eventually starring in my own Oscar-worthy film. Yes, it will be a busy summer, but while I have a minute I thought I could impart upon my brethren in the Class... »
Students Issued Crossbows to Combat Increasing Neighborhood Violence Craig Esherick to Return as Men’s Basketball Coach After “taking a breather” Campus Debates Favorite Singer: Raffi or Neil Diamond? GPB Shocks Student Body with Hardcore Pornography Spring Film Lineup Iraqis Better at Voting than Floridians Study: Fake News Way Cooler than Real News Bush: Genocide ‘Only Way’ to Rid World... »
Durham, N.C. – Durham resident Renee Spence was caught in the crossfire on Sunday when she praised both her lord and savior, Jesus Christ, and her provider of low cost stainless steel tableware, Wal-Mart. Ms. Spence, a devout Christian and longtime member of the First Baptist Church of Durham, again renewed her commitment to... »
The Iraqi elections on Sunday were plagued by low voter turnout and numerous candidates who abandoned their campaigns out of fear for their lives. In fact, turnout was so low that the election rested solely on the shoulders of a small Iraqi fringe group calling itself al-Apu. Less than thirty members strong,... »
Bill Simmons (COL’07), a GERM, has been the first person to successfully utilize ‘thefacebook.com’ to find true romance and not just a good screw. The ‘Interested in Meeting for’ function, which is frequently filled out but rarely successfully, led Bill to find romance with a former patient, Celine Petrovski (NHS ’08). Bill... »
So roomie, lately I’ve become aware that you’ve been scratching your balls all the time. And I can’t help but notice the creams, pills, lotions and ointments that are strewn across the room. And the student health center left a message, they said the test came out positive. And some girl... »
After losing a total shitload of money last year, the Georgetown University Medical Center has teamed up with the Corp (which actually made money last year) to open an abortion clinic. This new venture will serve to bring in revenues to offset the enormous cost of doing whatever that mysterious moneypit does while... »
Students lucky enough to win the ticket lottery were treated to one of the older traditions in the Jesuit bag of tricks yesterday morning. Four students were tried for their accused heretical beliefs, and from popular responses from the remainder of the student body, all—but four, of course—had a great time. “We felt that the... »
