Signs that Georgetown has Fallen Under Martial Law
- Altagracia and Rosa wage war on the slightly retarded plate-man and the one Chinese guy for rights to ration the rest of the poison…er, food.
- Darnall becomes an Al Qaeda stronghold with sleeper cells ranging all the way to the Southwest Quad. Even the Jesuit residence is infiltrated.
- Red Square actually becomes Red Square. The communist movement sweeps through the ICC and takes control of the eastern half of the divided German department. US government professors are slow to react leading to a half-century long escalation of tension and build up of weapons.
- Vittles receives a shipment of 30,000 condoms at 11:33 AM.
- Vittles sells out of condoms and blunts at 11:37 AM.
- Of course, Vittles’s quality condoms found to be grossly substandard, and Georgetown enrollment drops by 45% with “maternal leave” sited most as reason for withdrawal.
- Madeline Albright and Jose Maria Aznar are publicly beheaded for being parts of “the establishment.” The guillotine makes a triumphant return.
- November 13th is declared a no-class holiday in memory of Old Dirty Bastard.
- November 15th is declared a no-class holiday in celebration of “The Macho Man” Randy Savage’s birthday.
- Hoya Court is demolished by students from the New Jersey tri-state area and transformed into a giant Wawa.
- Jack the Bulldog is forced to drink 151 proof alcohol, becomes belligerent, vomits, and has unprotected sex with some bitch from George Washington.
- DPS authority, or lack-there-of, does not change.
