Race of Idiots: Kids You Meet at Georgetown

Monday, November 12, 2007
By Dr. Susan Verdad

View this issue’s print version

The Kid Who Thinks Basketball Is Too Mainstream
Yeah, so I got this great job, like during he basketball games I get to stay on campus and work in the stacks at Club Lau, oh shiiiit. How cool is that? Yeah, it should be pretty empty so I can kind of just hang out, do some homework, whatever. I mean, yeah, I’m gonna miss all the games but like, I don’t even watch basketball. So overrated. We have so many great teams here. Yeah, I’m not even sure who Roy is. Doesn’t he swipe cards at Leo’s? No, yeah, I don’t know who any of the players are. I didn’t even really know for sure that we had a basketball team until you started talking about it. Like, when I applied last year, I didn’t even know that Georgetown made it to the Final Four. Or what the Final Four is, I don’t even know what that means. That’s so common, yeah, no I don’t watch basketball, no. Is that why you came to Georgetown? I didn’t even know. No, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Jay Teethree? I told you, I don’t know any of the players. Yeah, seriously though, did you make it out to the Kings Point Invitational last weekend? Georgetown Sailing is going all the way this year…

The “International Student”
Oh, hi! How are you? Que? Oh, you’re probably noticing my accent. No? Yeah, well I’m from Toledo. No, not Ohio, que tonta! Toledo, SPAIN. Si, si, hee hee. Where are you from? Connecticut? Ohhh, que chevere! I love America. I love observing your people, you are so funny hee hee. Where did I go to school? Well actually, I went to high school in New Jersey, yeah, Bergen, but no no I’m 100% Spanish. Yeah, well I was actually born in Hackensack, but, no yeah, I grew up in New Jersey, but my parents, well yeah mi mamá is from Spain. Yeah, well she studied there all of spring semester her junior year at Duke. Si, si, hee hee. Amiguita, I’m telling you, these Americans, they don’t understand what it means to be INTERNATIONAL, hee hee, si, si, comprendes?! But yeah, like I was saying, I spent two weeks last summer in Toledo…

The Kid From Your Intro Level Course
Hey you guys. Oh sorry, yeah can I sit here? Man is this class going to be easy! Yeah, I mean I probably could have tested out. I was actually gonna test out. I actually like took the test, and they were just like whaaat and it like crashed the testing system cause like usually people don’t do so well. So yeah, like I’m not supposed to be in this class. Yeah, I mean, I took AP Calc in high school, so I’m pretty much all over this Pre-Calc, no yeah, I’m just taking it as a GPA booster, you know, hey, is that our professor? Yeah, he looks like he probably knows what he’s talking about, but if not, you guys cause always ask me, cause I’ll definitely know! Ha ha. Seriously though, I’m not supposed to be in this class…

The Freshman Who Had Strict Parents In High School
Yo, fucking, yo. Call me later, let’s do something tonight. Yeah, like late night baby, can’t stop me now. Ha ha, like seriously though, I was up until three last night. Fucking crazy. Yeah, and I made some fuckin’ Easy Mac, but then I was like fuck this, I don’t want to fuckin’ clean these dishes. So I left them in the fuckin sink. Fuckin’ badass! So yeah, everyone was asleep, but I was UP, raging, man. Ha, fuckin’ sweet. Fuckin’ UNSTOPPABLE!