Jack DeGioia Planning to Wear “Sexy Jack DeGioia” Costume to Work on Halloween
"Sexy Jack DeGioia"
HEALY—Georgetown President John J. DeGioia has made it known to everyone in the Office of the President Tuesday that he will come to work on October 31 as a “sexy” version of himself, sources in the office say, in an attempt to deter his colleagues from showing up in the same costume.
“I got Lisa [Markey (COL ’12), the office receptionist] to tell me she’s gonna be a sexy bumblebee for a Halloween, and this brilliant idea shot straight into my head,” DeGioia said, as his staff pretended to listen. “Anyway, it’s a really good costume, so nobody better show up as Sexy Jack DeGioia too, ‘cause that would totally ruin it.”
Halloween is most likely DeGioia’s favorite holiday, staffers say. The president will often be holed up in his office for weeks on end in October, refusing to conduct any University business until he has decided on the perfect costume to wear.
After notifying the staff of his choice, he went into his office to change into his costume, which he said he spent the previous three nights sewing together from a favorite suit he used to wear that had gotten too small. His suit jacket, shirt, and tie were cut off at mid-chest and twisted up tight into a knot. His suit pants were cut into a male bikini, on the rear side of which he painted in red the word “SEXY.” He also painted an old pair of glasses red and bought a red beret to wear on his head.
DeGioia, smiling from ear to ear, emerged a minute or so later, shocking the staff so much that someone reportedly vomited upon seeing DeGioia’s bare skin.
“Sexy Jack DeGioia!” he shouted. “But seriously, if anybody wears this, you’re fired. Actually, nobody can wear a sexy costume. Just me.”
DeGioia, unable to contain his excitement, left the office to lead a symposium on Catholicism in the Third World in Gaston Hall while still wearing the costume.
“As we gather here today to discuss this important issue in the future of the Church, I bet you’re all wondering who made this really great Sexy Jack DeGioia costume,” DeGioia ad-libbed in his opening remarks to the conference, grinning and pausing for applause. “I did! I made it myself!” he continued gleefully.
According to staff members who heard him shout it on his way to the kitchen to get a sloppy joe and ginger ale, DeGioia believes this is his best Halloween costume yet. DeGioia reportedly said the same thing in 2008, when he came to work as Scooby Doo; in 2006, when he came in full blackface as Will Smith; and in 2003, when he combined two costumes and came as “Osama bin Shrek.”
Perhaps DeGioia’s most notorious costume, however, came in 2000, when DeGioia showed up to work as “Purple Leo O’Donovan.” Upon seeing DeGioia running up to him grinning and covered head-to-toe in purple eye-shadow, President O’Donovan sighed, walked back into his office, and resigned on the spot.
After returning from the symposium and taking his costume off, DeGioia alerted his staff that he planned to wear the Sexy Jack DeGioia costume to a gathering of college presidents with President Obama at the White House planned for that same day.
Upon hearing of DeGioia’s costume, Vice President for Student Affairs Todd Olson monotonously announced to his staff that he will come to work on Halloween as “Sexy Alcohol Policy.”
