Archive for December, 2009
BREAKING: New South Fire Traced to Jack the Bulldog Self-Immolation
The Hoya Holds Annual Holiday Cross-Lighting Ceremony in Dahlgren Quad
DAHLGREN QUAD—After a challenging year during which Georgetown’s main newspaper saw a last-minute revocation of its independence from the University and extended fallout over its annual April Fool’s issue, The Hoya came together this Friday for its annual cross lighting. Since the 1930s, the Christmas cross has stood next to Georgetown’s official Christmas tree and... »
SAC Creates New ‘SAC Fund’ to Pay for Expenses Incurred in Not Funding Student Groups
LEAVEY—The Student Activities Commission voted Monday to create a new alternative source of funding for the process of not giving funding to student groups. The “SAC Fund” is aimed at what SAC says is a grossly inadequately funded part of what their organization does. “Everywhere I go on campus, people get in my face, hurl... »
ANC Rejects 2010 Campus Meal Plan
LEO’S—The Advisory Neighborhood Commission, Georgetown’s community oversight committee, announced today that it would not support Georgetown’s proposed 2010 campus meal plan. Despite heavy lobbying by the University, the ANC said it could not in good conscience support the proposal, expressing concerns about detrimental effects to the community. The statement released today by the ANC cited... »
Hot Girl’s Facebook Photos Sophomore’s Only Refuge from World
REYNOLDS—These days sophomore Stephen Endheim doesn’t have a lot going for him. After his high school girlfriend dumped him during freshman orientation, he quickly spiraled into depression, losing interest in nearly everything and cutting himself off from what friends say he described as an unjust, godless world. According to those who live on the fourth... »
FROM THE EDITOR: Georgetown Must Never Forget Its Half-Assed Catholic Identity
As I finish up my last week of finals as a Georgetown undergrad and prepare to enter the real world, I should be elated that it’s all over and excited about my new job as a junior associate in the exciting field of child-murdering / child-murdering-financial-services consultancy. But I’m not. I feel melancholic because... »
OP-ED: I Can’t Wait to Pass Out in Historic, Culturally Significant Gutters While I’m Abroad
As my semester abroad nears, I find myself eagerly anticipating the new friends, classes, and experiences that await me. I have always dreamed of immersing myself in a culture other than my own, to learn simply by living amongst the people I have spent so much time learning about. It is truly the opportunity... »
OP-ED: Georgetown Students Are Such Rich, Elitist Snobs
UGHHHH, I can’t take it anymore. Those Georgetown students are such a bunch of out-of-touch trust-fund babies. They’re so wrapped up in their own little world that they can’t even realize how fucking empty their preppy little lives are. Oh, by the way, do you think I should go with the Dolce and Gabanna... »
ADMINISTRATOR’S CORNER: This is Gonna Be the Least Depressing Todd Olson New Year’s Party Ever!
Keep it together, Todd! Keep it together! Ha ha, that’s right, my annual New Year’s Eve party is almost here, and I can barely contain my excitement! “You’re like that every year, Todd,” you’re saying, “and it always ends up a complete failure.” Well, you can shut up. YOU CAN JUST SHUT UP. Because... »
Freshman Herd Gets Lost After Party in Burleith, Stampedes into Windshield of Passing Saferides Van
BURLEITH—A panicked, confused herd of freshmen stormed into the streets of Burleith late Saturday night, running right into a Saferides van, causing significant damage to the vehicle. “They showed up here together and were calmly grazing on Ruffles and sipping from the keg, but something must have spooked them, because suddenly they were snorting... »

