Freshman Herd Gets Lost After Party in Burleith, Stampedes into Windshield of Passing Saferides Van

BURLEITH—A panicked, confused herd of freshmen stormed into the streets of Burleith late Saturday night, running right into a Saferides van, causing significant damage to the vehicle.  “They showed up here together and were calmly grazing on Ruffles and sipping from the keg, but something must have spooked them, because suddenly they were snorting loudly and they rushed out of the house,” said Kyle Norman (COL ’10), who held the party.  Witnesses said the freshmen seemed disorientated.  “They were looking at the street signs, then headbutting the street signs, then they charged aimlessly into the street, then they saw the headlights of the Saferides van and ran straight into it,” said Meredith Sawyer (SFS ’10).  Officials at the Georgetown University Department of Natural Resources say that despite extending freshman-girl hunting-season for upperclassmen by two months this year, freshman population figures remain high and roadkill has been piling up in the neighborhoods surrounding the University.