Author Archive
Eminem Endorses “That Other Guy”
Monday, November 1st, 2004
God Endorses George W. Bush
Monday, November 1st, 2004
Television Psychic and Presidential Candidate Predicts Win in ‘04
Monday, December 15th, 2003
For several months, presidential candidate and TV psychic John Edwards has been struggling to receive the attention and support that has been given to front-runners Howard Dean and Gen. Wes Clark. This may have changed last Friday however, as Edwards announced on his popular television show “Crossing Over” that he predicts a win... »
Student Movement Forms Over Heckler’s Obscenity Usage
Tuesday, October 28th, 2003
An angry, unsmiling mob of approximately 13 students held a march today from the Healy gates to Heckler Editor Bea Arfur’s Henle residence. Once assembled in the fishbowl, a student by the name of Anita Ensahumor addressed the crowd through a mega-phone. The following is an excerpt from the speech: “The usage of... »
B-FONY Club Re-Assembles for 9th Straight Year
Tuesday, October 28th, 2003
Two weeks ago the mostly inactive B-FONY club convened in Leavey for what is likely to be their first and last meeting of the year. B-FONY, which stands for Bandwagon Fans of New York is a club composed of mostly Jersey students and those annoying kids who are from “the city,” which more... »
Southern Society to Secede from GUSA
Tuesday, October 7th, 2003
Last Thursday, Southern Society President Jeff Davis called an emergency session of the Southern Society Council to vote on secession from GUSA. The secession crisis began after an interview with student body president, Myron Borganstern, was printed in The Hoya. In the interview, Borganstern announced his intention to ban “Sweet Home Alabama” from ever being... »
