Forty years after the world’s first moon walk, Students of Georgetown, Inc., better known as The Corp, has announced that it will open a new student Space Program service. This will be the Corp’s first major venture outside of basic on campus retail and is expected to drive the company well into bankruptcy within... »
Author Archive
The Corp To Launch New Space Program
Monday, March 14th, 2005
Signs that Georgetown has Fallen Under Martial Law
Monday, January 17th, 2005
Altagracia and Rosa wage war on the slightly retarded plate-man and the one Chinese guy for rights to ration the rest of the poison…er, food. Darnall becomes an Al Qaeda stronghold with sleeper cells ranging all the way to the Southwest Quad. Even the Jesuit residence is infiltrated. Red Square actually becomes Red Square. The communist... »
So Georgetown has Fallen Under Martial Law: A Survival Guide
Monday, January 17th, 2005
Waste no time in declaring an allegiance to either Altagracia or the slightly retarded plate-man. One of the two will control whether you eat or not. Avoid Darnall as though it were Bosnia circa 1994; however, most people who have ever been in Darnall do this anyway. Also, allow the rest of the campus to... »
Terrified Public Awaits Next Source of Fear
Monday, November 22nd, 2004
Osama bin Laden is still alive and making low quality home videos. Iraq is still bogged down in insurgency making it a hotbed rife with terrorists–a place where every Tom, Dick, and Muhammed can go steal a stockpile of explosives. North Korea still has an unknown number of nuclear weapons, not to mention a... »
Harvard to Sue Georgetown for Use of Word “University”
Friday, October 15th, 2004
Ivy League intellectuals and liberal crackpots of Harvard have willingly joined forces to file a law suit against Georgetown claiming that Georgetown has been illegally using the word “university” for the past 153 years. When asked if Harvard has anything better to do with its time than sue us, president Lawrence Summers replied, “No,... »
