Features
Ask a Student Whose Roommate Just Walked In On Him Masturbating
Dear Student Whose Roommate Just Walked in on Him Masturbating, I’ve been dating the same guy since first semester freshman year and, while I really do love him, lately things have been getting a bit stale. He hasn’t done anything wrong I just don’t feel the same passion I used to. The little... »
FEATURE: Unpublished Results from the SMURF Survey
The Georgetown Heckler has obtained results from the most recent SMURF survey that have never been published on a poster from the group. They are printed here below. 90% of Hoyas wait until they are sober to get an abortion 88% of Hoyas drink alcohol before and after partying 70% of Hoyas know from experience that Leo’s... »
Student Voices
In this issue we wanted to give prospective students a taste of what life at Georgetown is like, so we asked a number of current students questions about their time at Georgetown. What do they do for fun, and what do they plan for the future? Read their responses below. What did you do over... »
Great Moments in The Hoya’s Racism
1920: The Racist, the campus newspaper founded by Mask and Bauble actor John Wilkes Booth in 1859, is renamed The Hoya after the popular Southern word for “white agenda.” 1930: A Hoya expose reveals the Great Depression is the blacks’ fault. It wins a Bunn Award. 1948: When Georgetown’s first black student enrolls, the staff works... »
Broadcast E-mails
Fulfilling our journalistic duty to reprint broadcast e-mails (unlike SOME publications that merely copy and paste the text of broadcast e-mails into “written” articles), below are yesterday’s broadcast e-mails that you got in your inbox: EVENT: Matzoh Macho Men EVENT: We don’t even like shitty crackers EVENT: It’s on! Let’s fucking do this! Awesome! EVENT: Stop what you’re... »
Student Voices
In this issue we talked to two students who manage to balance their academics with other activities and make a positive difference on campus: Doug Jones, a football player and senior in the College, and Tim Collins, an activist and junior in the School of Foreign Service. Preston: Doug, last season you exceeded all expectations... »
Letters
“Brian Donelan” <bddonelan@yahoo.com>: http://news.yahoo.com/s/po/20080911/co_po/formergopsenatorcallspalinacockywacko re Cocky Wacko: cocks, pit bulls, and pigs: The barnyard is filling up, the Catnip and Koolaid are abundant, and Orwell was right. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/09/11/analysis-mccains-claims-s_n_125839.html Double-Speaking of barnyards, I guess it IS true: you really CAN’T keep a good Ho-Down. (Nohedint! Yahedid.) Also true: All guys are Richards. love, Cooter COOTER! Where were you old pal? Noyedint! Ah ha, oh man. I miss our... »
SPORTS: SlamPigs: The Most Popular Team at Georgetown
It is really a shame to consider that so many people on campus and in society at large think of themselves as athletically inept. And though it may be sadder to consider that they think of themselves as this is really because they are athletically inept, nonetheless some team should exist whereon these people... »
Three Surefire Ways To Pick Up Freshmen Girls
It’s that time of year again. The trees are changing colors, midterms are just beginning, and it’s your last chance to pounce on naive freshmen girls. However, if you are like most of us, the whole “I am a junior/senior/sophmore how about we make out” thing is not really cutting it. So, coming from... »
