Opinion
OP-ED: Grow a Pair and VOTE: HARRY BALLS For GUSA President Because it Just Doesn’t Matter
This Wednesday, show your lack of support for the useless campus organization known as GUSA, and WRITE-IN HARRY BALLS for the presidency. Harry Balls has (seriously) been the third-place candidate for years running, and it’s about time he is voted in. We at the Heckler realize that each candidate is the same... »
OP-ED: A Senior’s Advice to a Freshman
In just over three months I will graduate from Georgetown University, only to begin a summer of waiting tables, writing screenplays, and eventually starring in my own Oscar-worthy film. Yes, it will be a busy summer, but while I have a minute I thought I could impart upon my brethren in the Class... »
OP-ED: You say Chlamydia, I say Justice
So roomie, lately I’ve become aware that you’ve been scratching your balls all the time. And I can’t help but notice the creams, pills, lotions and ointments that are strewn across the room. And the student health center left a message, they said the test came out positive. And some girl... »
OP-ED: You Talk Like an Idiot so Get Out of My Bed
Since first grade, we’ve all had to experience those tedious English classes on rules of grammar with the teacher using those crazy words like “noun,” “verb,” and “participial phrase.” Well apparently some girls were far too busy feeding their Tamagotchis and playing with their snap bracelets to learn the essentials. I know some readers... »
OP-ED: Folks, It’s Spelled “Definitely”
In my time at the Heckler, I have tried to stick to hard-nosed, objective, investigative journalism, but today I feel it my duty to write from the heart. To all of you so-called “educated” Georgetown students, here is a newsflash for you. The word is spelled “definitely”. NOT “definately”. So... »
POINT / COUNTERPOINT: Getting Laid at Georgetown is Hard VS. Getting Laid at Georgetown is Easy
Getting Laid at Georgetown is Hard By Skip Myers (SFS ‘08) In my limited time at the Hilltop I’ve learned one unfortunate lesson the hard way and that is the dark truth of how extremely difficult it is to engage a coed in a romantic interlude. I’m not going to say that it was... »
OP-ED: Sorry Doesn’t Bring My Virginity Back
Oh Jackie, remember when we sat beneath the stars on the Leavey Esplanade and talked until the sun crested over the treetops in the east? You told me so many sweet and exciting things. Things that I wished I could just replay over and over again in my head. Do you... »
OP-ED: Theme Parties: You Know You Want to
As the fall semester at Georgetown swings into full gear, young men everywhere welcome the return of ‘Theme Party’ Season. While it is sad to watch miniskirts and tank tops vanish as temperatures drop, theme parties and their dress codes fail to constrain to even the coldest of nights. The theme party... »
