The Georgetown Heckler

News | September 22, 2016

Bloodthirsty Light Fixture Claims More Insect Lives


LIVING ROOM — The creepy-crawly community was in solemn mourning today as the Bug Intelligence Service announced that the death toll from the barbaric ceiling light above the coffee table has risen to 18 since the beginning of the month.
“The situation has been heating up,” chirped Mayor Adalbert McCricket, “The families of those insects can rest assured that my antministration is doing everything to stop this luminary massacre.”
After the dreadful slap in the face that was the local human community’s refusal to participate in Health Minister Mosquito Jones’ blood drive, the bugvernment has opted for a series of military air strikes against the light.
“Frankly, I’m quite surprised at the number of volunteers for this mission that we’ve had,” admitted Mayor Gnathaniel Gonsalves, who was elected following the lifespan of Adalbert McCricket (6:22am-3:01pm), “More and more airmen are abuzz with an overwhelming desire to fly directly to the dreaded orb and see it for themselves.”
Despite the graveyard of fallen comrades in the lair of the murderous beacon, soldiers are rumored to fly repeatedly into the light head-on in search of their great reward.