OpEd: Why the Heckler Fucking Hates Our New Editor-in-Chief
By Duchess Barbara Knittingford of Hartford, CT
We, the Hecklers, cannot keep our silence any longer. It has been over two full months under the new Editor-in-Chief’s reign, and culture is dying. Since taking office, Duchess Barbara Knittingford of Hartford, CT, has ruined the club, and we Hecklers are here to blow the lid off this thing. For starters, she’s a woman, […]
Great News! The Heckler is Selling Dylan Partner
By Whom It May Concern
You’re in luck! The Heckler is selling Dylan Partner. Dylan combines cutting-edge innovation with exceptional quality, making it the perfect addition to your own personal collection or even a gift for mom this holiday season. Details: Whether you’re upgrading your everyday routine or just treating yourself, this is the gift you’ve been waiting for. Act […]
Intriguing: The Priest Who Teaches My Theology Class Knows About the Bible
By Little Rock Anthony
When I walked into my theology class for the first time, before add/drop had ended, mind you (as I am a serious student), I was stunned silent for the entire 75 minutes. The class, titled Biblical Literature, could really have been about anything if you ask me. My professor asked to be called Father. I […]
Heckler Advice Column: How You Can Escape The Eternal Samsaric Cycle Of Death And Rebirth And Also Maybe Get Laid
By Adelaide Mornington, Duchess Barbara Knittingford of Hartford, CT
Ah, yes, the classic coming-of-age struggle of ridding oneself of all earthly desires in the name of total enlightenment while also trying to bust every now and then. We at the Heckler know the difficulty of balancing one’s Buddhist intentions while looking like an absolute 10/10, so we have compiled a short listicle of 5 […]
Jack the Bulldog’s Back Left Leg to Be Removed After Poll Ranks Crouton Averaging 3x More Pets per Day (PPD)
By Duchess Barbara Knittingford of Hartford, CT
Following an anonymous tip on recent campus canine circumstances, Barbara reports on our findings after a protected other Heckler went undercover in the Office of Neighborhood Life: The Office of Neighborhood Life at Georgetown has apparently been working overtime since their Summer ‘24 Census brought troubling news: Jack the Bulldog’s approval rating has plunged since […]
