We, the Hecklers, cannot keep our silence any longer. It has been over two full months under the new Editor-in-Chief’s reign, and culture is dying. Since taking office, Duchess Barbara Knittingford of Hartford, CT, has ruined the club, and we Hecklers are here to blow the lid off this thing.  For starters, she’s a woman, […]

You’re in luck! The Heckler is selling Dylan Partner. Dylan combines cutting-edge innovation with exceptional quality, making it the perfect addition to your own personal collection or even a gift for mom this holiday season. Details: Whether you’re upgrading your everyday routine or just treating yourself, this is the gift you’ve been waiting for. Act […]

When I walked into my theology class for the first time, before add/drop had ended, mind you (as I am a serious student), I was stunned silent for the entire 75 minutes. The class, titled Biblical Literature, could really have been about anything if you ask me.  My professor asked to be called Father. I […]

Seal

5. Salvador Dali. Thin, elegant, ever so delicate. Some would say his stache was his finest piece of art. Others say there is a tiny elf that is perched on the end of it, whispering hymns and riddles to inspire Dali. 4. Groucho Marx. Angular, geometric, intentional. A man with black grease paint and a […]

Ah, yes, the classic coming-of-age struggle of ridding oneself of all earthly desires in the name of total enlightenment while also trying to bust every now and then. We at the Heckler know the difficulty of balancing one’s Buddhist intentions while looking like an absolute 10/10, so we have compiled a short listicle of 5 […]

Following an anonymous tip on recent campus canine circumstances, Barbara reports on our findings after a protected other Heckler went undercover in the Office of Neighborhood Life: The Office of Neighborhood Life at Georgetown has apparently been working overtime since their Summer ‘24 Census brought troubling news: Jack the Bulldog’s approval rating has plunged since […]

Feeling ANXIOUS? Try finding… And if that doesn’t work, there’s always…

The Heckler was recently contacted by Tyler Whiteface, 23, MSB ‘28, a six-time freshman who has almost passed all his classes this time! Whiteface was eager to provide a column on his impressions of freshman year, as a seasoned professional of the craft. Whiteface, 23, from White Plains, NY, submitted two drafts before submitting the […]

Mark your calendars, ladies and gents: my uncle is finally hauling ass to the Hilltop this coming Family Weekend, and he’ll be whiling away his days in the District invading the personal space of countless Georgetown undergraduates. Steel yourselves for his sweaty palms, folks, and keep in mind that whatever he does is a sign […]