MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Family and friends announced with confidence today that Carter-era Vice President Walter Mondale remains a living human being. The 1984 democratic presidential nominee has been reported as walking, interacting with other people, and sleeping at regular intervals. Despite frequent references to being a senator in the 1960s, Mondale seems to have a pulse, and is aware that the Korean War, in which he served, seems like a lifetime ago. The Heckler will continue to monitor the situation.