M STREET, GEORGETOWN — After working through several dry bites of rice and black beans, SFS sophomore Jeff Sadler (SFS ’18) excitedly told sources he had finally hit an enormous guacamole vein running through the center left side of his Chipotle burrito. “It was tough going at, first I’m not gonna lie. When mouthful after mouthful came up empty I started losing hope, but then my lips hit the ‘mole and now it’s green gold as far as the eye can see,” Sadler told reporters, expressing that he had no regrets about paying the extra $2.05 for treasured condiment. “My plan is to mine this vein as far as I can. I know my luck can’t last forever but who knows, maybe I’ll hit some mozzarella along the way to take me home.” At press time, sources reported Sadler was busy navigating around a minefield of lettuce that was impeding further excavations.