The Georgetown Heckler

News | March 20, 2017

Benihana Evacuated After Onion Volcano Erupts


PORTLAND, O.R. – A Benihana restaurant was evacuated this Thursday evening following the eruption of a chef’s onion volcano.

“It was unlike anything I’d ever seen before. I mean he just pulled an onion apart, stacked the rings, and then all the sudden there’s just smoke pouring out of the thing.”said restaurant diner Peter Tatum, brushing off charred onion-smelling soot from his coat.

Damages to the restaurant are still unknown, though the dining establishment will have to replace all of the grills that were destroyed in the delicious catastrophe.

“There’s always a chance that this might happen when you make a volcano, but for me it’s worth the risk. I might have caused a few burns and wrecked the dining area, but for me it’s all about the experience,” explained Hibachi Chef and eruption initiator Jason Ito, who has had to transfer locations six times.

At press time the onion volcano had again become dormant, and teams of scientists are set to monitor it to try to predict further volcanic activity.