The Georgetown Heckler

News | February 13, 2018

GU Students For More Hammocks Endorse Jesus Christ For GUSA President


The Editorial Board is proud and excited to announce that Georgetown Students for More Hammocks – the inspirational grassroots student group leading the charge in providing GU students the care and leisure they deserve – has officially endorsed Jesus Christ for GUSA President in 2018.

According to the campaign, this decision was reached after the realization that both projects share important interests and a common vision for the Georgetown community. “On the seventh day God rested – Georgetown students tend to forget that,” said one member of the campaign. “Jesus Christ’s emphasis on self-care and the wellbeing of the student goes hand in hand with everything a hammock stands for.”

“A Christ presidency would not be unlike a hammock: supportive, nurturing, and constantly working to benefit you,” said another representative for Jesus. “To quote preacher and Christ supporter Andrew Lee, ‘we are to simply rest in the love of God given through Jesus. Jesus did the work,’ but like both a hammock and Christ’s candidacy, ‘we will never experience the rest the hammock offers if we don’t trust it’s strength.’”

On the endorsement, the leader of Georgetown Students For More Hammocks told the Heckler, “An increased presence of Hammocks carries a positive correlation with increased happiness of the student body. We are supporting the candidate that supports hammocks, that supports happiness, that supports Georgetown.”