When it comes to a position as coveted and impactful as the GUSA Executive Office, one has to be prudent and careful before publicly advocating for a certain candidate. This is why, after long careful consideration of their commitment, work-ethic, and reliability, the Heckler would like to give our official endorsement to Enushe Khan and […]

GEORGETOWN – With the election for the Georgetown University Student Association’s presidential team fast approaching, analysts are suggesting that the candidates probably support continuing to fund SAC, right? I mean, I think so. Through a series of targeted videos, which detailed the candidates’ teams, agendas, and major running points, the student body has a pretty […]

WASHINGTON, D.C. – After a tense, two-hour discussion on a variety of pressing political issues, the venerable Scat Master “Bee Bop” Johnson summarized the proceedings by stating, “Woo doo bop, shoo bop di wop wop zinga zoom baah.” After such a display of eloquence, the conference room in which the discussions were held fell silent […]

MIAMI, FL – After decades of investigation, a team of forensic scientists and meteorologists have successfully mounted a case against a lone monarch butterfly, convicting the butterfly of killing millions with a single flap of its wings. “We have suspected for some time now that hurricanes could have been caused by something as small as […]