JACKSON HOLE – Admitting that he “hasn’t really been following college basketball that closely” over the past couple of years, incoming freshman Joshua Sanders (COL ’18) recently told reporters that he is “looking forward to the Men’s basketball season this fall.”

With the last six years of utter calamity and futility not on his radar, Sanders continued to pontificate on Georgetown’s rich history in the game and the “proud” legacy which hangs over Georgetown’s campus.

“Simply put, going to a school which is a national basketball powerhouse is going to make every March memorable,” said Sanders.

Sanders, a lifelong Wyoming resident and freshman studying English, last played organized basketball in third grade and has not visited ESPN’s Men’s NCAA webpage since December 2008.

Despite the apparent lack of up-to-date information possessed by Sanders, the English major told reporters that “talkin’ sports” is a great way to bond with his new classmates. Over a period of four months since his acceptance to Georgetown, Sanders posted five different times in the GAAP 2018 group the following messages:

“How much are season tickets?”

“Who thinks we’re gonna win it all this year?”

“Who wants to talk sports?”

“HOYASS!!!”

“Where is Carbarn?”

Several other members of the GAAP group described Sanders as “that guy” or simply just, “ugh.”

Since arriving to campus, Sanders has, on numerous occasions, just walked into his common room and yelled “How ’bout dem Hoyas?” before leaving.

“I never know if he’s talking about basketball

A pictoral summary of the past six years of Georgetown basketball.

or football or what,” said everyone in the common room.

When asked if he was familiar with the basketball programs of Florida Gulf Coast University or DePaul, Sanders gave a curt shake of his head before laughing uncomfortably.

At press time, no one had the heart to tell him about the last five years of Georgetown basketball.