The Georgetown Heckler

News | October 11, 2014

Georgetown Betches Concerned Transition from Light Cardigan Weather to Jacket Weather Happening too Quickly

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M STEET — With weekly highs predicted to hover in the low 60s this weekend, Georgetown betches unanimously expressed worry that the transition into jacket season was occurring too rapidly.

With summer temperatures stretching into mid-September, an early onset of cold temperatures has left the vast majority of “super cute” light cardigans unused.m-street_s345x230

Calling it a fall-themed travesty, the president of the Georgetown Betches Union Emily Harrison (COL ’15) released a statement condemning the premature cold as “an insult to the natural fashion cycle of the world.”

“It’s just shameful how few of our harvest-colored cardigans I’m going to be able to use,” said Media Relations Manager Sarah Jenkins (MSB ’15). “The suffering is going to be unimaginable.”

Stores on M Street confirmed that there would be no refunds for fall apparel already purchased.

The statement went on to report that Barbour jacket levels were “wholly insufficient” to last a winter cycle beginning this early.

“We’re looking at an unacceptable levels of repeated winter outfits right now,” said Harrison.

The Georgetown Betches Union announced on Friday that they were beginning a Twitter campaign in which users would post pictures of their closets with the hashtags #prayforfashion to raise awareness about their cause.

Some found individuals at all levels responsible for the impending fashion catastrophe.

“President Obama needs to do something about climate change,” said Sophomore Ann Bunyon (COL ’17). “I’m looking at hundreds of dollars worthlessly spent on fall weather apparel. Not to mention the millions displaced by rising tidelines, erratic precipitation patterns and species extinction.”

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