REISS – According to new sources, Georgetown’s many teaching assistants are again planning to attend the Annual TA Conference, or ATAC for short, this weekend. The excitement in the planning room was palpable.

The Annual TA Conference’s newsletter, Unqualified Quarterly, describes their mission to, “foster confusion, uphold incompetency, and promote frustration in the name of subpar professor-less education”.

Speakers will include that one TA from Econ who be presenting on how to give off “that perfect, snobby” vibe.

Heckler reporters were able to interview the excited crowd of TA’s to get their opinions and expectations on this great event.

“Last year I was busy staring at homework that was turned in a month ago, and I missed the first few days” said Sarah Hammond (COL ’16), “I can’t wait to see what this year has to offer!”

“I’m excited for the Seminar on Mumbling. Usually I try to make sure only the front row of my students can here me, but they say the speakers at the ATAC know how to keep even someone a few feet away from understanding!” Eric Townsend (MSB ’15) quietly and hastily spoke from across the room.

“My favorite events are the speaker boards for TA celebrities,” reported Elijah Harris (COL ’15), “they say the guy who went eight months without returning a single homework assignment is going to be there. His students didn’t get their work back till the next semester! What a legend.”

Alexandra Lock (SFS ’15) stated “Incomprehensibility has never been my strong suit. Luckily this year’s theme is Lack of Understanding. I pumped for the…” [reporters are unsure what the transcript reads hereafter].

According to the leader of Georgetown’s representatives this year, Ali James (COL ’15), there will be a multitude of classes, including Inconvenient Office Hours, Awkward One-on-One Tutoring, and Unapproachability.

The attending teaching assistants hope to bring their newfound skills back to Georgetown and implement them in classrooms across campus.