NEW SOUTH — After a Saturday night that could only be described as “crazy wild” by New South 2 member Johnny Fernandez (COL ’18), his drunken hangover has transitioned to uneasy feelings about the red lace thong that has reportedly been lying in the hallway for approximately 75 hours.

“My friends and I had to walk past it on our way to Leo’s brunch, and conversation just kind of fell silent.  I tried to make eye contact and do some amused chuckling, but no one seemed really into it,” reported a baffled Fernandez.

New South, home to thousands of thongs, but only one of which is currently lying in the hallway.

Fernandez is not alone in his frustration with the feminine undergarment.  Tim Waters (MSB ’18) has also admitted to being confused about the floor’s next course of action since he spotted the piece of clothing Sunday afternoon.

“Are we just going to leave it there?  It’s halfway between my dorm and the next one; what if people think I had something to do with it?” said Waters, who was later reported as being “not entirely sad” with the possibility.

Behavioral analysts are reported to be on “high alert” as the situation progresses.  “We’re not taking any chances with this prime opportunity to investigate the freshman psyche,” explained one such analyst, Brian Redford.

After much deliberation and heated debate by the New South hall council, the general consensus has been to “let someone else figure it out.”

At press time the thong is reportedly still in the hallway, unclaimed by its owner and untouched by residents.